NoMoshing Plays Harem Collector

For those who don't already know, NoMoshing is the lead developer behind Harem Collector. He at various times plays through the game in parts or whole in order to make sure that it goes as intended. This page is made to show his various Let's Plays of Harem Collector (including all images and comments that he makes) that he shares for those interested uninterrupted. The comments that he shares at times contain insights as to various game mechanics and thus can be a useful tool for those whom read them. For those interested in seeing the original forum thread please click here. He is also the inspiratrion for all the other playthroughs. Beyond this all words (not section titles as found in the table of contents) are that of NoMoshing unless indicated otherwise.

March 2015 v3 play through

It's been awhile since I last played through Harem Collector top to bottom. So for the next few weeks I'm dedicating an hour out of every day to playing through the game, start to finish. I'll be posting a commentary up in here after every session, with attendant pics, and you're welcome to follow along. Share you memories of the game, point out parts you thought were, parts you thought sucked, comment on my commentary, whatever.

Here are a few ground rules for my LP:

• I'm playing no more than one hour a day. That's really all I can spare from my dev schedule. But I will be playing on the weekends, so there will be an update every day.
• I am not manipulating the game to my advantage in any way. I won't be opening the dev chest either.
• Exception: I placed a chest in the opening where I could pick up a shovel. I lost track of where I was with regard to the digging minigame, so I'm going to be testing every map I can.
• I will not be referring to the guide or the wiki. If I can do stuff by memory, fine, but if not I'll have to figure it out.

So yeah, let's get this kicked off.

Day 1

Alright, here we go.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Boinky's title screen? It's pretty sweet. If you look carefully at the book in the background, it's outlining the general premise of the game. You can see a cleaner version on the Patreon page image. By the way, the Japanese text reads "haaremu no korekuto". Because reverse engrish.

Anyway, onto the game. Clearly, for this LP we need a name of truly epic proportions. A name that will stand the test of time. A name that is long enough I can do a casual check for text overflow.

Oh yes.

So here is the opening scene of the game, set in the Adventurer's Guild and introducing basically every character the Hero already knows at the beginning of the game. The only folks really missing from here are Raina and Gargan's mom (who doesn't even have a sprite yet) and Shally.

This is actually an extended opening. The original opening just started with the MC hanging out in front of the manor, with 100,000 Sil in his pocket and deciding right there to go see the estate broker.

Both Raina and Meline turn to follow the Hero as he runs around. This isn't just foreshadowing that they both want a close encounter with the Hero's personal greatsword- it's visually pointing them out for brand-new players.

As I've said elsewhere, Meline wears an outfit reminiscent of a schoolgirl uniform because I thought it was sexy. She's probably just trying to entice the Hero, and isn't actually attending school anywhere.

Anyway, I pick up my shovel and find out right away that using the shovel in the opening sequence bugs the game. I don't actually get to talk to anyone other than Meline, and the Hero blacks out immediately. Oh well.

So, the Hero wakes up in a dark storm drain somewhere. All his stuff is gone, including his sweet Attack +50 Zweihander he had in the previous scene. I thought that was a nifty little characteristic of the Hero- not only does he prefer the all-out-attack style of greatswords, he neglects buying any armour at all to afford the spiffiest greatsword available.

Up next is the Rusty Sword- a teeny little shout out to Secret of Mana. The sword starts out as a piece of shit, but in time it'll become a weapon of truly great power. What's it doing down here? Who knows!

The fight with the Ratard isn't just a way for me to force players to pick up the rusty sword- I wanted new players to have a chance to play with and explore the interface in a really low-stakes setting before the actual tutorials start in the relatively high-stakes gang hideout dungeon. If you actually do nothing but fuck around forever and the Ratard manages to kill you, the Hero just passes out and wakes up in the back of the drain.

The Rat Tail being extremely valuable is a shout-out to Final Fantasy IV and it's absurdly hard to find and extremely valuable rat tail. I'm pretty sure that's the first side quest I ever managed to complete in any video game ever. The only RPGs I had access to when I was very young (<10 yrs) were Dragon Warrior, FF4 and Quest for Glory II, courtesy of a video rental place a short walk from my childhood home.

Finally, the Hero escapes the sewers and finds himself right in front of the manor he desires to buy. The manor is the single most important location in the entire game. When I revamp the interior (right now it's waaaaaay oversized inside) I intend to add lots of little doodads that appear in the mansion over the course of the game. That's the function of the Old Piano you pick up from the Hero's childhood home during Family Matters, btw.

Now for a little tour of Northmarket.

One of the features of the setting is that, despite how bright and cheerful everything looks (in keeping with the JRPG art style), the Middle Kingdom is actually a land where most of the population lives in relative poverty and the rich can do basically whatever they want and get away with it. This is why I originally divided the Wealthy District and the Slums to two different maps- in one, you see a fairly typical JRPG city, with flourishing shops and generally happy people. In the other, the ground is barren, the palate is drab, the music is slowed and a little distorted. But some people manage to make a decent living, even in the slums.

Nothing typifies this divide more than the Slaver's Guild. You can find slavers in both the Wealthy District and the Slums- but in one area, they're only selling, and in the other, they're only recruiting.

The cemetery in the Wealthy District church is filled with stones for dead player characters that I've either played in tabletop RPGs or people have played in RPGs I was running. With the exception of Lavinia Whateley, of course.

This guy in particular was in a D&D 4e game. He was a prince from an Egypt-esque foreign land who, when the old Pharoah died, was cursed by his sister so he could neither communicate by tongue or by written word. Forced the roam the earth looking for a cure for his condition, the idea was that eventually the adventuring party would develop their own sign language for him to communicate with, and by that time he'd be able to tell his friends about his plight and kick off a whole new leg of the campaign where he and his companions would take down his sister and secure his throne. The GM was on board and everything.

Then, he got one square too close to an undead blackguard using some kind of burst attack, and was OHKO'd at level 1. Easy come, easy go.

The Sha- um, I mean Umbra Broker is a recent addition, but I like his potential to add to the game. He's named Yang because it is similar to Yahg, the species of the Shadow Broker in Mass Effect 2.

Now, let's stop fucking around, shall we?

So, we wander around the Slums until we meet Shally, get the tip regarding the Bitch's Sixth Tit, and also meet Therese for the first time.

The Hero and Therese come off as kind of stupid in the early parts of the game. In the beginning of development, the Hero was supposed to be a lot dumber and more thuggish. In time he's come to be not so much stupid, just not very book-learned and actually quite clever from time to time.

Therese is also hugely naive in the opening, something which just kind of drops away after awhile. I guess they both raised their intelligence as they level up?

So, the actual hideout.

I've ranted before about why the first dungeon is what it is. Ironically, even though I don't like lots of boring, samey cave dungeons in RPGs, the number of boring, samey forest dungeons in HC is starting to get out of hand.

I've been thinking lately about redoing this dungeon. It's layout was made using RPG Maker VXA's random dungeon generators, and it doesn't make much sense. Why is the Gang Leader the only one who sleeps here, anyway?

The boss fight is intended to introduce players to one of the core concepts of the game- drawing threat and controlling the enemy's targeting. It used to be even longer than it is now- the Gang Leader had about twice the HP he currently does- but I cut it down after playing through this dungeon a few times. Players have usually figured out how to handle him by that time, and more HP just draws out the fight for longer. This is why I'ev gotta play this game more than I currently do.

And now, with the first dungeon mostly completed, the Hero is comfortably sitting at level 3.

Er, oops. I guess this new experience distribution script means I'll have to rejigger a thing or two.

But what are we waiting for anyway? Don't you want to hurry up and get LAID!?

This I'm not too pleased with. The collars are hugely powerful, and a very important part of the setting, and this guy just hands you a six pack of them because... I needed the player to receive some. I might end up rewriting this.

So, next some stuff happens. You meet and then immediately collar Alina. You convince her dad to sell you the manor, yadda yadda.

One of the things I make clear early on the game is, while he can occasionally act altruistically, the Hero is not a good guy.

Back in January, when BlackPreon did his Twitch LP of Harem Collector, this fact was kind of lost on him. It wasn't until the very end of the video when one of his pals who was also on mic with him pointed out, "No, I think this guy [referring to me] knows what he's doing and exactly what kind of game he's made." And yeah, I do. If you pay really close attention to the game, there are more than a few places where I try to subvert the expectations of the hentai game genre.

Hahaha. You might have picked up, over time, that I kind of have a thing for having sex with women who are partly or fully clothed. I know that's not everyone's thing and lots of guys prefer the full monty. Gurotaku keeps me on the straight-and-narrow, because unless I specifically mention clothes he'll usually go for nudity.

Here is JBurton's awesome satisfaction menu. I probably buried a couple dozen hours into making the original satisfaction menu work, and now we use this. Such is the plight of the game developer.

Another thing I'm doing in this LP is tracking the rate of Satisfaction growth over the course of the game, so I can add new options as appropriate. I'm open to suggestion on this one.

Anyway, that's it for today. Between taking screencaps, writing notes, and testing the shovel I didn't get as far as you might with an hour's playthrough. I also cut it off a little early so tomorrow's session will kick off with Healbot. Anyway, thanks for following along, and don't be shy with your comments.

Day 2

So, on today's episode, we finally get some sexy party members to hang with, cute girls who are undoubtedly badass and will do...

Oh. Right.

In all honesty though, I don't hate Felix as much as you might think. He might have been begrudgingly added to the game, but I've come to enjoy the character as the Hero's straight man. Besides, some of the best gags in the game come courtesy of everyone's favourite Healbot.

Haha, that never gets old.

Anyway, the player kicks off the main part of the game with no cash, and a few meager items to the Hero's name that nobody wants to buy from you anyway. The Leather Jacket you get from the Gang Leader isn't going to stand up to rigorous combat, either. So by moving a little bit to the south, the first building you see is the Northmarket Bank. Time to hook up some delicious consumer credit.

The exists primarily to help out starting players, though later in the game when paying off 10k worth of debt isn't such a big deal, it'll have some uses more on the short term. It is designed to be easily obtained and then forgotten- and 5% compounding interest can get out of hand fast, especially early game.

So you know what we're going to do?

There, that's a much more manageable number, and more than I really need at this point.

So now, cash in hand, it's time for a shopping spree! First, we head to the Adventurer's Guild to pick up our Guild Card and get a quick makeover.

And while I don't expect to have much trouble with the next quest, it never hurts to be prepared.

Next is back to the Wealthy District to hit up the toy store for a couple essentials.

Finally, we head out to the outskirts of town for some all-natural farm produce.

Incidentally, a couple of the farms are named after the default name for your farm in Harvest Moon: Back to Nature and Rune Factory.

Anyway, after picking up some Iron Gauntlets, Iron Scalemail, 2 Potions of Resist Acid, 2 Bags of Marbles, 2 Stink Bombs, and a Jar of Honey, I'm almost tapped out. I then choose to invest in the Little Flower Girl for a tiny bit of recurring income, and then set out on the next quest: One is the Loneliest Party.

So, I try to pick up Therese, but she's cloistered away because she was caught touching herself. Instead, I head to the Tin Dog to see what's up, and briefly meet with Elaiya. Shally tells me to chase after her and keep her safe, so I immediately follower her to the Abandoned Fort.

The forts were the first really detailed bit of setting I came up with. I needed some sweet dungeons for bad guys to hide out in, and rather than making the dungeons just random holes in the ground I came up with this story of an invading army, the former border, and that army eventually being pushed back. You can even trace out the old border if you look at a larger view of the near east Middle Kingdom.

Anyway, the Abandoned Fort is the southmost one. If you get confused about where to go, you're probably going to run into the one still occupied fort, on the Northmarket-Eastfort road. The knight on duty will give you directions if you're a complete nub and get lost.

All the border forts share a similar, squat, two-story design. Even their interiors are laid out the same. If you've read the history books in the NM Manor, you know why, but I built this into the game loooong before writing the official history of the Middle Kingdom.

This dungeon also serves as an excellent example of why I can't wait to be making $600+ on Patreon.

I'm usually the first person to defend RPG Maker- I think it's a pretty decent engine, although the built-in system has plenty of flaws. But if you're not using the tiles in the way that Enterbrain expects you to, you're SOL. Case in point: the two battle backgrounds provided with red brick walls are either a) clearly exterior or b) have really elaborate windows for some reason.

Anyway, I fight my way through the slimes with Felix in tow. Given that I have a whole pile of extra levels at this point, I can pretty much just spam attack all the way through.

Finally I make it to Elaiya, who says a bunch of mysterious stuff to Godfrey, and soon battle is joined... and I completely forget to heal Felix before battle AND Elaiya doesn't have enough Momentum to use Stealth on turn 1. Shit.

Time to buy some time, Goonies-style.

Once Elaiya's Health is up and she gets her Stealth on, the battle's a cinch. Let that be a lesson to all of you: never back slimes against anyone.

So I get paid by Shally, stick it to Elaiya, and things are looking good. Now to take this reward money and pay back some of my-

Right. I forgot I ran into Kevin when I was out shopping.

So, A Forge Too Far is the quest that's meant to open up the game world a little and force the player to explore the other three big towns in the game. On the way, you're basically guaranteed to run into some of the game's more colourful encounters, and in general you're meant to be rewarded for taking the time to search around. First, though, some design notes on the three towns we're just getting introduced to.

Eastfort is a currently active military fort that was also at some point made available for the public to inhabit. Right now, we have to travel to the Military District inside the fort, but there's also a Civilian District outside. The colour palette is meant to be subdued- grey for the stone and blue tile roofs. The city isn't built around roads, so mostly the buildings exist in a rough tangle.

Westcastle is the nation's capital and home of the royal family. The Outer District is designed to look like a theme park, particularly Disneyland- wide avenues, lots of colour and foliage, and large, eye-catching, unique buildings.

The Southport University District consists of a southern "student ghetto" and the university itself. The ghetto is a little more basic-looking, but the university proper is a clashing mismatch of colours and styles, showing that the school has grown over time in fits and starts, and also reflecting the bombastic, larger-than-life personalities of the wizards you'll meet during the Ancient Mysteries questline.

I also ran into a couple of encounters along the way.

Oh Bronwyn, I can't wait to nail you to the bed with my penis. But damn, that encounter almost gave me a Game Over. I guess I ought to put in some kind of requirement before it shows up....

There's also the Bizarre Bazaar, which I can't afford at this point- oh well- and the Dark Seed Guy Encounter, which is based on an encounter card from the most excellent board game, Arkham Horror.

First place I went to was Eastfort, to pick up Doll. She's the other character we get to choose to name, so of course I have to pick a sufficiently august personage to chill with DJ Jazzy Jeff.

Next up is Westcastle, where I take in a play and take the time to invest in the most efficient way to make money in the game.

I love it when someone casually breaks the laws of physics and the Hero is too much of a doof to see how incredible that is.

If you check out the front row there, you'll see that the Overmind from Overwhored is taking in the play with Rubati, Nanshe and the Tower Mistress. This isn't the only place they appear, either, so keep your eyes open. Vice versa, you can find the Hero and his crew in a couple places in OW.

Now it's time for my favourite dungeon in the game. <3 Bring it on, Elvo's Mansion!

The whole time you travel through the mansion, Elvo, a skilled illusionist, is basically just trolling you- ambushing you with summoned monsters, taunting you, and then faking an entire boss fight in hopes you'll give up and leave. On top of that, I let my imagination run wild with the possibilities of decorating with illusion magic.

You have no idea, none, how many tries it took to get this little "block the door with the boxes" animation to work out.

The thing with the piano was initially just a gag and a weak shout out to Final Fantasy V. It's since has been rolled up into the Hero's background- why does he know how to play? His father was a wandering minstrel of course!

The Hero's father and the circumstance of his life will come into play in a big way in Harem Collector 2, BTW.

Admit it, this beats the hell out your basement rec room.

This guy, and the way he offers item "packages", is based on the aug gangsters you run into outside the FEMA facility in Deus Ex: Human Revolution. The way you can just kill him and take his stuff isn't.

Anyway, after fighting your way through Elvo's manor, finding the secret passage to the attic and finally confronting the real McCoy, you're up for the first really difficult boss fight in the game. However, in the early parts of the game, if you can't or don't walk into a dungeon with a plan for the boss battle, I tried to supply items that you can formulate a strategy around. Case in point:

I managed to knock Homunculus Epsilon out long enough to take care of her pal Beta and tear a good chunk out of Elvo. Also, feeding Elaiya a Jar of Honey is a pretty potent combination- she gets a big boost to her Momentum, which means more uses of Barrage, plus a 50% bonus to evasion. Her Stealth skill is more than enough to make up for the drawback of drawing extra Threat, too. Plus, Elaiya guzzling down this sticky, syrupy jar of honey as it overflows from her mouth and runs down her body is kinda...

Um.

BRB.

Damn this game gets weird if you use celebrity names.

Day 3

You ever have one of those days where you go to make a fried egg sandwich for breakfast, but you only have one slice of bread, so you make an open-faced fried sandwich which is really just a fried egg on a slice of toast and then eat it while playing Spider Solitaire and regretting your life choices?

Yeah, me neither. Let's Play Harem Collector!

So, after finally recruiting the blacksmith, the Hero is finally able to pay down his consumer credit again.

Good, good. Now that the credit situation is under control, I hit up Kevin to upgrade Elaiya's gats, and I'm ready for the last introduction quest. Well, except for the maid one, but I'm holding off on that for now.

So it's off to the AG, then the docks, then the Sixth Tit, then to the big-ass forest to the west. This question probably takes a lot longer to figure out if you haven't ever done it before, but I've probably done these intro quests about two hundred times at this point, so it's all old hat for me.

Before we depart the slums, though, it's makeover time again!

Now that Doll's kitted out like a boss, it's time to go slay some orcs.

There really isn't all that much to Na Na Why Don't You Get A Job once you locate the orc encampment. I'm overlevelled to the point where I can spam attack all the way through this quest. There are a couple things to point out though.

The reason why the orcs are all the same colour isn't because I'm lazy or I forgot to change them up- it's because the Hero is a little racist and they all look the same to him.

What? It comes naturally from being an adventurer! Jeez.

Also, when I started this quest I had a lot of problems with it because it was the first time I tried doing a distinctly nonlinear quest. A Forge Too Far came after, and now I'm pretty confident with my event coding skills, all thanks to quests like this one where I could practice.

Next up: the most controversial scene in Harem Collector.

No shit, really. Here's a chart depicting every angry email I've received so far this year, since Jan. 1 2015:

As you can see, butthurt D&D obsessives outnumber SJWs, GamerGaters, lolicons and gamers who have standards combined. Well, at least when it comes to vocally complaining about HC.

Of course, that's the joke. The Hero is obviously not simply chaotic neutral, the orcs aren't behaving chaotic evil, and the D&D alignment system tends to completely fall apart as soon as it encounters a "grey morality" situation. But does anyone notice these things?

dramatic sigh It's so hard being a creator.

As I said, these early missions usually drop some kind of item to help you with the boss in case you didn't plan for his shenanigans. In this case, it's the otherwise innocuous Bottled Smoke. Not that I need it- because I still need to adjust early-game XP drops, I'm waay over leveled for this shit.

Here's another tidbit of weird fan behaviour: After this quest was released, I also got a huge amount of mail speculating on what Florine's #1 and #2 are.

So, I left an offering at the rain statute while shopping the previous day, and now it's raining. Gonna clear up a few little things today- first, the satisfaction book.

So now I've got that guy up and running. Then I'm going around and hitting up all the Adventurer's Guilds for quests. Which, incidentally, takes us to...

When the docks here are done, it'll be fairly crowded and busy, but unlike the Slums, things are generally more upbeat. After all, the folks here have money.

Once that's done, I'm all ready for the reason I set today to be rainy.

Yep. I'm going to take down the Corrupted Mycon. At an absurdly low level, too.

See, I like making these boss fights to be little puzzles. Once you've figured out the "trick", they get pretty easy, but HC is set up to reward fighting smart.

What you're looking for when fighting the Corrupted Mycon is this:

Blessing of Bone, like most of the "demonic" spells, only buffs you at a cost. In this case, it skyrockets the caster's defense and max Health in exchange for causing Health damage.

My preparations involved packing Jars of Honey, about ten of them. My plan: Doll spams Guardian of Life and targets herself with Regeneration. Hero buffs with Assault, makes sure that Doll stays in Sugar Rush with the honey, and occasionally attacks. Felix heals and keeps off the status effects. Elaiya does scratch damage when she can using Barrage, but also spams debuffing items like Stink Bomb.

This takes a really, really long time BTW. It's a serious test of endurance. Depending on how you do with scratch damage, and how often Corrupted Mycon uses Revitalize once he's down to 50% or less Health, this battle will take about 100-120 rounds (maybe more). With my strategy, it took no shit forty minutes to take the Corrupted Mycon down on the second try.

Your reward: A butt-ton of XP and three Dark Seeds. Not bad, I think, but then again I'm the guy who made it.

Anyway, that ate up the rest of my play time, so join us again tomorrow in which I'll do even more things!

Day 4

It's Friday night, I'm partway drunk and Nekochan won't let me on the TV. Let's Play Harem Collector!

Or, rather, it looks like I'm going to be super-busy Saturday, so I'm playing and recording my thoughts now I can just upload it in the morning. Either way, where we left off I had just slain the Corrupted Mycon, and we have done all the Introduction Quests I care to complete at this time.

So it looks like, moving in level order, next up would be Virgin Gynocides.

Edit: Yeah, I totally forgot to check the Northmarket Adventurer's Guild.

...And this is where I'm at with my party level. So yeah, let's go fight some demons.

I didn't intend for many quests to have this “investigation” portion beforehand, but it serves as a nifty way to force players to explore a bit, and makes the quests a bit lengthier. I'll be the first to admit that most of my dungeons are kind of short, so the noncombat bit that kicks off many quests helps hide that fact.

A couple things while we're exploring the Westcastle Outer District in detail....

We're going to stop by the good sister over here first though for some supplies. It's a funny thing to think about, but black market holy relics is a totally real phenomenon.

Anyway, right now we're picking up some Anointing Oil and a Basic Prayerbook for Felix when he finishes learning from the Magical Handbook.

Dogs playing cards. I apologize for nothing.

A maid cafe. Where you can buy a completely pointless signed photo of a maid waitress. NOTHING, you hear me!?

You can spot Gargan keeping an eye on the theatre across the road in the back, in case you never picked up on that.

I don't know if anyone's put two and two together get, but on sunny days you can find one of these girls hanging out in the park with her cultist beau. Just a fun little thing I threw in after the fact.

Anyway, very quickly I wrap up my investigation, approach the theatre and, of course run into Gargan.

Sorry Elaiya, but I need dat tank, and heals.

Nothing's really going on in this pic, I've just always been really impressed with myself making that sweet parallax action going on in the background.

I forgot to grab a screencap of it, but Gargan and the Hero have the best buddy cop banter in the quest. I love it.

I like this scene because it establishes a few interesting things about this particular cult, and I just feel it's a really well done optional scene, though I just realized it can happen after you've knocked Borgan out cold.

Wow I suck my own dick a lot in this LP, don't I?

Anyway, fuck that Borgan guy.

Man, I really did make this dungeon look good. I forgot how much fun this is.

Mickele is the name of a Hentai Highschool forumite who was really helpful early on with bug testing. He also would find exploits for infinite gold and such, then hide them from me to get favours. Like being in cameo in the game.

Incidentally, he wanted his cameo to be the sex slave of a beautiful and terrible sorceress.... something that wouldn't come to pass until two years later when I finally made the Bewitchy Women quest. But it's cool, I like Mickele reappearing to help out in some of the dungeons with the really hard puzzles.

BTW, if you see any of these Quest Update things that aren't a black bar across the middle of the screen, let me know, okay?

Pulled the rug out from under you guys with the sudden three-man boss fight, right? Anyway, this is what the Anointing Oil is for, trying to make make back some of Marel's huge physical damage reduction by using Radiant attacks.

Heh, forgot I haven't gotten a random sex scene yet.

Anyway, in the morning I'm off back to Westcastle to pick up my just reward. Don't really have enough time left on the clock for a whole other quest, so let's explore a bit more.

I always really liked this puzzle in Southport. Just sayin'.

BTW, in the rightmost apartment in the same building, on the bottom floor, is what's supposed to be a self-insert of myself and Nekochan. Never got around to doing the unique art for it though.... The cat on the table is meant to be our irl kitty who inspired the name “Bad Kitty Games”, and yes she does act like a total bitch.

Aw, fuck it, I know a quick quest we can do.

Incidentally, it's really hard writing all these lore tomes. I never appreciated just how much work some poor intern at Bioware puts into these things.

I also really love the Hero's lecture about baking here. I try to keep in mind, even though that he has a really elemental personality, that the Hero does have a personal history. Ino's dialogue here where she relates her tale of woe is also pretty good. If I do say so myself.

So, Ino begs for help passing her entrance exam, we start the plan to cheat, I run out looking for the first textbook and....

...whoa, that was dumb.

A note on elements in the game... I know there's a lot of them, but I've never liked how there's always some kind of easy rock-paper-scissors system in place for spell elements. Like, why is a fire elemental damaged by ice? Shouldn't it have no problem with ice, being made of fricken fire? Never mind the really bizarre systems like FFX's. And why would an enterprising mage they themselves be limited by a strict set of elements when coming up with ways to kill people with spells?

Also, I've never played FFXIII. I had to look up Serah's name on a wiki for this joke.

...And that's it. Despite getting sidetracked, I managed to get all the books in for the maximum relationship bonus.

I really like Ino as a character. I like how she brings out this kind of sweet side to the Hero. How much of it is legit and how much is an act... well, that remains to be seen, hmm?

I'm kind of tossing around different ideas for Ino in the sequels. If I stick to the plan of having the sequels be two years apart, that means she'll be 14 in HC2, 16 in HC3, and finally available for the boning in HC4. Or do I want to make that three years, and only have Ino be “raw bread” for one more game? Idunno.

The two plot arcs I have in mind for her in HC2 are 1) she dates Felix for awhile, which the Hero allows only begrudgingly because the girls of his harem demand cute romance, only to eventually leave Felix to go back to saving herself for the Hero, or 2) she really awkward and hilarious come-ons to the Hero, who runs off and avoids her in order to keep from getting caught by the Chris Hansen guard. Problem is, with option 1) I imagine many plays won't like the idea of a harem girl stepping out on the Hero. With option 2), I'm going to end up stacks and stacks of mail complaining about "why didn't the Hero put it in anyway?"

Anyway, that's it for the day. Like I said, I'm going to be really busy so I won't be able to catch up with the thread until much later. Join us tomorrow when I finally decide to scoop up another party member. See ya!

Day 5

Hey everyone! I slept in today, and then had to do a few chores, but that's all done now.... Let's Play Harem Collector!

First off, let's save the Hero from an unfortunately game over situation, shall we?

That's a load off my mind. Anyway, we have some stuff to do before adventuring today. First, to the Slums!

Probably going to need those Essential Salts, and the Potion of the Dark Beast isn't so bad either. Like many guides already mention, the PotDB is a great way to keep your Hero competitive, but I have something else in mind....

Elaiya could use the HP, and since her damaging Techniques are also based on her Attack stat, I think this is a solid investment. Bronwyn would be another good choice, but that's not who I'm recruiting today.

Instead we're heading to the... out of the way, dog!

Instead, we're heading over to... dammit!

Instead we're heading...

Aw, fuck this noise.

As I was saying, we're heading over to the bakery.

Yup, we're recruiting little sister to our cause (and harem).

Luckily we've managed to pick up a few pieces of equipment here and there for her to use, so she doesn't need anything extra before we get started on...

I can't believe that quest is almost two years old and that spelling mistake has been here the whole time.

Anyway, yeah, we're goin' to Lumberhill! I swap Nicki for Meline and head on out.

Gotta love that creepy, sinister town music.

Also, gotta love that free blessing.

Anyway, after getting the village barricaded in the church, it's time for the zombie assault. At my level, the battles last all of one turn. But the challenge of this part isn't the fighting, it's getting all the zombies before they start wrecking homes.

Before Lumberhill's redesign, the map was actually too big to keep track of all the events at once. That's why the first version of the zombie attack was so wonky- some events weren't generating until the player got close enough to activate them, and if the player moved away and came back to an event, it might run it's script twice. The whole thing was a clusterfuck- the revised version is much easier, but it also works consistently, which I think is more important.

I don't have a lot of love for the King of Pop, but Thriller was badass. When I was kid we had the music video on laserdisc. So awesome.

Originally, this was supposed to be a midi tune of Thriller, but RPG Maker VXA's midid player is actually borked and was never patched. Oh well.

After the battle, I hook Felix up with the Rhinestone Glove, Meline's highest stat is her Mana so I should be able to get through the rest of the quest just fine with regards to her.

Good job, JazzyJeff. Gotta have those priorities.

The way these ghosts appear and disappear was a lot of work, and needed a lot of bug fixing, but I really think it turned out pretty awesome in the end.

Ditto the Possessing Spirits... actually had to get a script for them to work right, but I think they're some of the more interesting enemies in the game.

Hehehe... mourning wood.

Anyway, I'm not going to discuss much about the Forgotten Tomb. Much ink has been spilled on it already, and I'm still tired of it. Let's just skip right to the boss battle!

Man, love that music... Larelle has tobe one of my favourite characters. I like them all, but Larelle's near the top.

The second dialogue box, where she says “Hear me, o thou blahblahblahblah” is an actual Babylonian incantation, or so I'm told.

My leet stratz for this battle: Use Heretical Censure to drive down the Spectre and Necromanceress' Mana while JazzyJeff and Elaiya take care of business and Felix keep everyone topped up on Health. Since they only have magic attacks, sooner or later the Spectre and Necromanceress just sit there and take it while I deal out some beats.

You keep on rocking, JazzyJeff, you crazy motherfucker.

A brief PSA: Larelle is right, while albinism is accompanied by sterility in many species, the same cannot be said for humans. Don't spunk your albino girlfriend unless you're prepared to deal with the consequences! (BTW, nice job on the albino girlfriend)

Well, that's it for today. Next time, on Let's Play Harem Collector: Elves and Paladins. Stay tuned!

Day 6

I am so full of salt and grouch. I woke up today literally hating everything. Where's my damn coffee? Why hasn't Aigis rolled over to a new day yet? Grumble grumble something Harem Collector.

Screw you, dwarf! I don't care about your stupid sword... though some of the results can be pretty funny, especially when the hostage option comes up.

Fine, I'll rescue your damn ancestral sword, stupid dorf.

At least the money was okay.

So, I go and hit up Florine's, where I ditch some vendor trash and items that I've outgrown, and also read all the porn that has been piling up in my inventory.

Hehehehe.

I also make it a point to go around and systematically share gifts for the first time... and I find out I can't figure out who likes what. Dammit! Oh well, at least Kevin likes me....

I also finally talk to Ino. It was probably more work than necessary to do the whole “what do you want me to call you” thing, but I think it was worth it.

So next up for me is to go around, sharing the wealth and investing in a few...

...Oh. Right. Oops.

Well, at least I'm levelled enough I can easily walk through the clock maniacs. This is another reason why I'm excited to be able to commission people for battlers and sprites... the central joke of this quest, that steampunk nerds exist in HC, is really hard to sell without appropriately attired baddies.

Some people have pointed out that it's pretty easy to walk around all these fights in the field. Yes, it's true- if you stay off the major roads, you can usually avoid people who are chasing you. Jeez.

Anyway, this quest is kind of lame, but it's also setting up for later that these guys exist, and they're very passionate about what they do. They'll be back, don't you worry.

What.

Anyway, after Meline basically kills the boss single-handedly, I guess it's time for the quests I intended to do today.

So, this is actually the first time I'll be playing this quest all the way through.... anyway, the party I'm rolling with is JazzyJeff, Felix, Bronwyn and Meline.

I don't have the cash for some Manhunter Poison, unfortunately, because that would really help in this quest.

If you're a Harvest Moon veteran, you can see that the elves are growing their crops in the most efficient manner possible

Wow, this is the first real challenge I've had in this game in awhile. There's a very real chance I might not get out of this alive....

I'm putting so much Mana into healing, Felix is starting to get a little dry... so, hopefully, he will regenerate enough Mana from these Mushrooms without me dying in this battle....

Success! Delicious Mana for all! Or at least Felix!

So, about Bronwyn... her design is all about stacking damage over time effects. Steel Punch and Pinning Arrow just add to her toolkit, her main strat is to poison, bleed and set shit on fir until it dies.

Gotta pull all your advantages in this game.

This... is not ideal.

That's cool, I got this.

Shit.

So I think my main problem here is part composition. I definitely should have gone with Doll or Elaiya instead of Meline, not sure what my strategy was there. Without elemental advantage and no spellcasting enemies, she just doesn't bring enough to the table for this quest.

So yeah, I got cocky and fucked up. It happens.

Anyway, that's it for today! Sorry for the truncated game, but I don't want to re-do things right now and would rather get to work!

Day 7

Danana na...

Dana na na na....

Danana na...

Dana na na na...

Danana, dana na na na na naaaaaaaa... na na naaaaaaaaaaa

It's the final...

...countdoooooooown!

You came to the wrong neighborhood, clown.

Yes, I sure am. Let's Play Harem Collector!

So this the beginning of the Hero helping and/or exploiting this group of elves. They live in shacks in the wilderness instead of a majestic forest city for a reason, and that reason isn't that I can't find a majestic forest city tileset, I promise.

The fact that Bronwyn's mom (somewhat coldly) estimate the Hero's life expectancy at forty or so is one of those subtle little jokes I love putting in the game here and there.

During the sex scene, Bronwyn alludes to the reason why the elven race is failing. Her character is all about the conflict between her desires and her principles... she considers the elven people above “filthy animal desires” and such, but ends up not so much loving the Hero as enjoying sex a lot.

I don't really like the term “cumslut”, but that's the trope she's meant to evoke. Part of what's going on with her ahegao face and love of semen has to do with the weird effect slave collars can have on nonhumans. Elves aren't compelled to obey, but they do gain pleasure from making their Masters and Mistresses happy. Thus the extreme reaction Bronwyn has to evidence of her Master's pleasure.

Also, Bronwyn means “fair breasted” in Welsh. Chibi and I really agonized over what to name her, and I eventually settled on Bronwyn because it was funny to name a character something that meant “nice tits”.

Ha, Meline wants her brother to dress like a harlequin novel cover.

I complain about it a lot, but I actually really like the Manor Assault event. I think it helps establish that, despite his flaws, the Hero genuinely cares for his girls and is actually charismatic enough to be an effective leader.

Also, a lot of folks get a chance to look like badasses, like the AOM... Try playing through this event sometime without Elaiya or Chimei sometime to see one of Alina's best scenes.

I'll admit it: when fans started asking for gangbang scenes, I was pretty reluctant about it, which is why I put them in some pretty negative context. But hey, I guess you get to avoid a battle?

Unrelated, but witty one-liners are really hard to write, especially when one precedes almost every fight in the game. This event has some of the worst ones in the game, I think.

She looks nothing like Therese, but you've got to admit, that girl in the centre is pretty cute, right?

I really need to find where in the game's code that “is slain!” message can be editted, considering the sheer number of people you fight but don't kill.

Mmm, the sex scene after beating the Manor Invasion is probably my personal favourite in the game.

Anyway, with that, that's it for today! See you tomorrow for more LP action!

Day 8

Who knows how to play his own game for profit? This guy. Let's Play Harem Collector!

What to do, what to do, what to-

Oh my. Why hello there.

Makeover time!

I guess that makes her a Bunny-Eared Ranger?

If I recall correctly, I think these also increase crit rate. (Edit: Nope, but hit rate is still good) Which is always good for Elaiya.

And now for something for myself...

I guess there's no good reason not to get them now.

Welcome to the harem, ladies.

So, a day passes while the Hero enjoys his maids, and I realize I've been forgetting my torture all this time.

I don't like group sex, but I do like seeing women post-bukkake. I don't know if that's weird or not.

So, I guess we open up the menu and see what's next.

More new content, eh? And I forgot to get something from Lumberhill. Well, alright.

Meline and Bronwyn between them should be able to handle werewolf regeneration. I don't expect too many problems, but I didn't expect too many problems with the rogue slavers, so hey.

I don't know why, but I really like the exterior of this church.

Also, the dentist just to the right of that (which has yet to be filled in) was once part of a quest, where you would be able to pay for checkup, and then find that the dentist stole a couple of the Hero's teeth while he was under anesthetic. Then there'd be a whole thing about getting them back, and the Hero would have these really goofy face sprites with teeth missing... it would just be too hard to implement, having to switch a bunch of stuff to having the face set with the missing teeth.

So after that, I head up to Huntervale and basically rob the place blind while all the villagers are out.

How did these guys get here? Stealth. Lycanthropy-enhanced stealth.

The thing about this quest is that the art was all supposed to look like little werewolf dog people, like in the rape scene a bit later on. Just didn't get done in time, so I slipped in this placeholder version. Last update was like, the update of placeholder art- That's why the heroes don't look tied up, too.

Also, I think that altar looks pretty rad.

Damn those Silverpelt Werewolves are bastards.

What are there, like three or four fights this?

Fuck, you guys put up with a lot of shit.

This one's pretty obscure. Navon du Foret was a demon that was implicated numerous times during the brief werewolf hunting craze in 1700s France (which I'm sure was terrible at the time, but the fact that it happened and is a part of human history is kind of awesome). I remember reading folktales about him when I was young, but I've long since lost that book, and I only half remember the story. Can't find anything via the Googacle. So I'm probably getting the name wrong or something.

No real super-strategy here. I'm making use of Meline's shiny new Beckon Mana to set up werewolves to be blasted to death by her and Felix. Bronwyn's keeping DoTs on the Primordial Mystic because he doesn't regenerate and hopefully I can just passively take him down.

Man, this Shred skill really isn't working out. It's supposed to be kind of like Stun Break an deal extra damage to characters suffering from Knockdown, but it's just not working right.

Anyway, the reason why this quest has such a sticky sweet ending where everyone's still alive and things basically go back to normal is that I wanted to kind of go from this really dark sort of situation to this bizarrely happy sitcom ending. I don't know if it worked though.

Anyway, that's it for another day! Thanks for following along and see you tomorrow!

Day 9

Haters gonna hate. I've got my coffee and it's Saturday morning, so Let's Play some Harem Collector, shall we?

This is where we're at, now what to do today?

Hmm, alright. Let's do some things, first. First, gifting.

I love how this implies he can tell them apart without clothes.

Anyway, I have a ton of cash, and nobody needs more equipment just yet, so....

Now, let's kill some time.

I'm actually really pleased with these guild parties. It's a lot of work, but a great chance for characterization. I also really like Raina's “This is war” speech.

Oh, and I snuck Slave Hunt Part I into that montage back there. There isn't a whole lot to say about it, really.

Anyway, time to see if we can pick up Yamamaya yet....

Right. Why do I always forget what triggers these things?

Haha, broad spectrum potions. Just a little medical joke in there.

This whole scene also works to kind of explain how the various kinds of magic work, and show that there are more than just spells, prayers and evocations.

Also, protip for other creators: save your exposition until your audience is invested. It doesn't matter if you're writing a book, directing a movie, or making a game, if you open with a big exposition dump of any kind you\re already tripping over the starting line. If your setting has complicated politics or whatever, it can wait. The Last Fucklord is actually a great example of this- you do the first quest, the first big twist is revealed... and then the MC heads back to the church and you get the first big dump of information. But by then, if you're the kind of person who likes TLF you're probably already committed because of that first twist.

Anyway, now that that's set up... I'm going to ignore and get some other things done. If Count Corgan is as badass as everyone says, I need to be prepared.

Jeez, almost didn't notice this guy.

I've always really loved this scene. It took forever to get the timing right, but it's one of the best scenes in the game, I think.

So I'm going to try out some of these new characters, as we head on up into The Giant's Path. Just have to speak to the leader of the Eastfort Adventurer's Guild to grab by exposition and off we go!

The Kellosians aren't actually supposed to be Japanese themed, I just needed an army of soldiers that immediately looked different from the standard Middle Kingdom ones. Turns out the only RPG Maker Resource DLC to have something like that was the Samurai one. Oh well.

When they get redesigned, I think I'll make sure the Japanese influences are still there, just crossed with Roman Centurions and the Seanchan from Wheel of Time.

The quest “Every Day I'm Smugglin'” was just a fun thing I put together, to give players who come to the Giant's Path early something to do. I can't remember what, specifically, I was inspired by, but there are any number of multi-key side quests in games pretty much exactly like this. Smart money is on the Keller Family sidequest in Fallout 3, though.

The initials of the folks referred to on the notes was actually supposed to be a reference of some kind, but fucked if I remember what to. Knowing me, it was probably obscure as hell. If anyone has any guesses, let me know.

The manga/anime and comic these guys discuss are Saiyonara Zetsubou-Sensei, Yotsuba&, Steins;Gate and Scott Pilgrim. Zetsurin, Fuuka and Kurisu are mai waifus. >.> Don't judge me.

...It's kind of telling that, from all the girls in SZS, the one the Hero likes most is serial stalker Matoi. And the girl from Scott Pilgrim he likes is the tsundere(?) ex-girlfriend Kim.

Ha, I forgot about that goofy little dance these guys do. I also thought it would be a cool change of pace to have a “dungeon” where you fight the boss partway through and the climax is about trashing this encampment full of soldiers.

I forget what Evanie is capable of, so I'll just beat her down til she submits. Being a nonmagical human, pretty much the only weakness I could maybe exploit is Manhunter Poison and I didn't bring any of that.

One thing I do make use of is Power Brew to get Yamamaya's momentum high enough to rage right away. The nice thing about using it on Yamamaya is that being drunk has a lot of the characteristics of one of her rages, so you're already prepared to lose control of her.

One of the more disappointing things about the Kellos camp is that most people just smash their way through without trying out the little stealth game I tried really hard on. Oh well.

Here's something to taunt all you completionists- there is a version of this scene for Felix, Doll, Therese and none of the above. Happy hunting!

The battle with the Kellos army afterwards is supposed to be kind of a power trip with Kyrie's multi-target spells that also lower evasion and defence (respectively). But once that wraps up, it's time to go grab my reward....

Well, that's it for today. Until next time, everyone!

Day 10

Okay, it's Sunday, and barring any pancake-related interruptions, I'm good to go. Let's Play Harem Collector!

First off...

After selling all my vendor trash I ended up with a ton of cash...

...but it was at this point that Nekochan woke up and demanded pancakes. So, I had to take care of that (and is why this update didn't drop until early afternoon).

And now, makeover time!

And now the equipment's expensive enough that I can only really bring the Hero, Raina and Bronwyn up-to-date, even with that much money.

So, right now for progress-related quests, I have the option of Research Materials or Quest for a Cure, but instead...

...Let's tie up a miscellaneous quest and GET PAID!

You have no idea how hard it is to make a boat-looking things with a town tileset. I think I did okay, though.

The primary motivation around this quest is that I want to poke a little fun at the many Aussie fans of HC. Response has been pretty positive in general- many responses have been along the lines of “At least there weren't Crocodile Hunter/Paul Hogan/Knifey-Spoony jokes,” though McBlackjack told me I better make a Canada-related quest with moose, timber wolves and poutine now.

Muldjewang is that name of a snake-monster in Austrailian aboriginal folklore. Cuddykins is actually a kind of obscure reference to koalas and kangaroos- because even cute things in Austrailia can fuck you up. Drop Bears are of course named after the (fictional) tree-climbing predators. Bunyip are named after the Werewolf: the Apocalypse tribe (which are in turn probably named after some other Austrailian folklore thing). Boxfish refer to a kind of jellyfish. Huntsman refers to the terrifyingly enourmous real-life spiders, and “cob” is an old-timey word for spider.

Whew. This is also one of the few dungeons where every enemy has a story begin it.

Better watch out for those snakes... I also just some amusement out of the idea that this “ship's cook” only knows how to make stew.

When poison becomes a problem, you an always drink a Fauster's Brew to get protection from poison. Fauster's: It's Auslander for Antidote.

My strategy here: Have Bronwyn keep up DoTs, Raina tanks, bashes and trips, Felix is on healing duty and Hero is on general support.

One thing to keep in mind is Felix and Bronwyn's synergy- part of Bronwyn's arrow skill damage is based on Agility and so benefits greatly from Felix's buffs.

Anyway, that's it for that quest, and... huh. I guess I forgot to implement the upgrade on Bronwyn's bow. Oh well.

That's it for today- sorry, but the late start got me to run out of time! See you all tomorrow!

Day 11

It's Tuesday morning, so Let's Play Harem Collector, I guess? Maybe? Sure.

Remember, citizens! The Kellos threat is real! Report any suspicious behaviour! Save your underwear elastics for the war effort! Slap anyone who criticizes the government! Ignore the fact that your groundwater tastes like ashes, [i]do you want to support the enemy with your treason complaints[/i]?

So yeah, today I'm rolling on Count Corgan, which is why I grabbed the Siege Shield for NickiMinaj. I grab my tip from the Sh- Umbra Broker, got my party right here...

...And I picked up a couple of party favours from the nun selling black market holy relics.

Apparently I just love making this guy hop fences.

The Gravediggers have an interesting move pattern- wander around for awhile then come charging straight at you. Idunno, I just like it. They also say “For the Master!” which is a ref to Overwhored.

The cemetery is filled with gravestones that I was grasping at straws to find material for.

The cemetery is also full of mausoleums, which are full of zombies and treasure. What did you guys think of that mechanic? Is it worth doing again? I mean, I like it, but I don't know if it's worth doing twice.

Also, werewolves.

Warren here is named after Warren Zevon, who released “Werewolves of London” on his 1977 album “Exciteable Boy”.

Who says porn never taught you anything?

Anyway, plan here is to shut down the Beta Wolf right away, cast lots of fire spells to control regeneration, and then proceed to beat the crap out of the Alpha Female, then Warren.

So, uh, clearing just the cemetery part took my entire hour of play. So, it's time for the NoMoshing's Favourite Gravestone Lightning Round!

Amalur was awesome, it's too bad that baseball players make [i]terrible[/i] CEOs.

Just a short shout-out for an old PC RPG, Betrayal at Krondor.

No explanation necessary.

God damn I'm old.

Guardians of Order was an old Canadian tabletop RPG outfit that made the most excellent Big Eyes, Small Mouth anime-style RPG system. Unfortunately, when supplements didn't sell very well (the system was so flexible there was no need for any sort of setting materials- most people could just make whatever they wanted with the rules as is) they started buying licenses for "fan guides" which were combination gaming supplement and episode guide. They still didn't sell (Trigun, Lain or Slayers fans usually didn't want added RPG rules in their fan guide, BESM gamers didn't want a tacked on fan guide in their gaming supplement), and GoO folded in the early 2000's.

Despite all this, BESM is a fantastic game. Good luck finding the extremely limited print (but extremely excellent) BESM 3rd ed.

So, I've gotten a little bit of salt over the #gamergate gravestone, but apparently nobody- including the not insignificant number of Israeli backers- has any problem at all with my awful holocaust pun.

Ninja Gaiden games are complete bullshit and people who defend them are masochistic assholes.

Yep, my first Dragon Age character gave his life to end the threat of a blight. Probably the most sober end scene of a video game ever. Gorim returning to Orzammar with my character's body brought a tear to my eye.

I didn't think that Enter the Matrix was _that_ bad. One of the interesting things about it- the Agents were nigh-impossible to defeat, but you could get them in a couple cases. For example, they took no damage from throws, but you could just toss them off of buildings no problem. Also, if they were stunned on the ground from a throw, they weren't immune to bullets. It kind of reminded me of Soul Reaver where the main enemies can only be defeated in certain ways, and you really had to use the environment to get shit done.

Every Spinal Tap drummer is interred here, as well.

YEP THIS WAS A THING. Apparently the LA Games Workshop saw him visiting all the time.

Tsunami Channel was a cute and fun harem comic that ran forever ago. Thing is, in retrospect, it wasn't very well written....

>.> <.< I was a pre-teen, give me a break.

YOU ARE WELCOME INTERNET

Day 12

Man, I need a sprite for those little Fetish Dolls, it just looks weird to have these alchemists taking to nothing... oh well, Let's Play Harem Collector!

I don't really expect anyone to get this one, but the Genius Erethists are named after erethism, which is a neurological disorder associated with mercury poisoning. Funny, yes? Right?

Well, at least the crickets liked that one.

Here's something for your wiki guys- the two varieties of Vampire Fangirl are basically identical. I just had originally made them all elves because I wanted players to fight more elves, but then I realized that was not in keeping for the setting and made some of them human, too. I think the effect of having two different kinds of Fangirl really works in a way that one or the other wouldn't.

One of the nice things about the rhinestone glove on big long dungeons like this is that you can basically “hot bunk” it around your magic users to refill their Mana. It's a pretty basic strategy, but in case it didn't occur to you, I guess.

This is another dungeon where the “skeleton” of it was made using the RPG Maker dungeon generator, and then I dressed it up a little more. In this case, I think it's appropriate- the one time I was in a wine cellar IRL it was a mazelike, claustrophobic, confusing tangle of aisles and hallways. I was a kid at the time, and thought it was just about the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I wanted to play tag or hide and seek down there so badly (probably a good idea I didn't, considering that it was also full of about a hundred thousand dollars worth of wine).

Stevie the zombie here isn't a reference to anything, I just figured it was a funny thing to do, having the one zombie that has a name to, well, have a name and drop a different item. He's otherwise identical to the other Undead Minions.

With the statup items I was originally at kind of a loss at what to call them, because the other basic items have small gags built into them (the existence of a Lo-Potion just like Final Fantasy games Mid- and Hi-Potions; a Red Ether restores 33% Mana and a Blue Ether restores 66% Mana so clearly a Purple Ether is just someone mixing the two together for 100%) that I just decided to refer to famous actors like they were brands of snake oil. Some of them are pretty obvious (Sylvester Stallone increases Health, Patrick Steward increases Mana, etc) but the one that actually has some more thought into it is Chan's Hyperactive Pill, which increases Luck, is a broad reference to the weird, improvised fighting style Jackie Chan uses in basically all of his movies.

Come to think of it, I have no idea if you can actually get a Chan's Hyperactive Pill anywhere in the game. Huh. Priority for next release!

A very important distinction to make. Although I'm not immune to yandere myself.

This has to be one of my favourite bosses in the game. Invisible Freddie is named after Freddie Mercury, whose band Queen released a song called “The Invisible Man” in 1989 (although it was actually written by Queen drummer Roger Taylor). That's why “Freddie” is kind of spelled weird.

Anyway, my strategy is this- go in HARD. Full magical assault by Felix and Meline, backed up by NickiMinaj tanking and the Hero attacking after using powder.

BTW, it was awesome testing guy tmrev's idea for the power-makes-him-visible thing, and he deserves all the credit for such an awesome idea. I just implemented it.

Anyway, that's it for today. Sorry these LPs are getting shorter and shorter, but battles get longer and longer the further you get in the game. That's kind of my MO- fewer battles, but every battle is a legit threat, and there are very few battles where you're in no danger of losing and are just kind of marking time.

Day 13

Excellent, it's Thursday. That means Unpopular Opinion podcast in the morning, Co-Optional Podcast in the afternoon, and tabletop gaming at night. But for now, Let's Play Harem Collector!

Man, dig that manor music. Excellent choice, me. This is also where the Vampire Sucklings start, which might be the single greatest pun in the universe. I've been holding onto that one for like... a year and half. Originally, I was going to have a side quest involving digging up graves and fighting terrible Twilight-style vampires within, and the like first tier of vampires there were going to be Vampire Sucklings.

Man, these Black Grims are bad ass. Breath weapons are harsh.

I apparently can't design a puzzle worth a damn. Either everyone figures it out immediately or nobody understands my bizarre moon logic. It's something I need to work on, I suppose.

Also, a clock needing to be set to 3:33 is a reference to Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem.

I also really like that awesome secret door animation. Lifted it from my work on Sangreal, though.

Poor Renfeld. I don't really know her background yet, except a couple of details.

So, this guy was originally supposed to be a Frankenstein's monster type-fellow, but the RPG Maker battlers did not co-operate. Anyway, the Euringer part is a reference to Johnny Urine's real last name. His band, Mindless Self Indulgence, released an album in 2000 called “Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy”. Yeah, you're starting to feel that boss theme, aren't you? Except this time I had to reach a little bit. Did not find a lot of Frankenstein's monster songs.

The plan here is to use NickiMinaj to heal, JazzyJeff for support (mostly using Encourage to buff defense), and firebomb this dude with Meline and Felix. Magic Missiles to keep him down and Scintillating Shards to keep his hit rate down if Magic Missile fails me.

...Except this guy isn't getting Dazed. Jeez, is this guy immune to Daze? Damn. Oh well, I don't think I have an optimal Meline spell to deploy here, so I'll just use whatever. Let's try Beckon Mana.

Hey, that worked out.

So I heal up after that fight, then restore my party's Mana with a spot of tea.

Time for me to take on the biggest badass boss in the game.

So the Chicago accent on Corgan here is because he's a reference to Billy Corgan, born Chicagoite (Chicagian?) and lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins, who released the song “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” in 1995. “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” has the lyrics “the world is a vampire” in it, which stupid people seem to think is the name of the song, which I can't really blame them for because that would be at least 350% less pretentious than “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”. But now I'm complaining that Smashing Pumpkins song are pretentious and that's kind of like complaining that Mexican food is spicy or people with heavy Japanese accents can't pronounce r's and l's properly. I love that whole album, but I'm also perfectly willing to admit it's the most pretentious thing to come out of America since Andy Warhol.

Oh, JazzyJeff. Way to not be a decent human being.

I don't really have a strategy going in, except Meline's going to spam Radiant spells. I'm going to stay flexible and kind of adapt to the situation.

One of the advantage of bringing Felix along is that he doesn't fall for the Count's sexy bullshit, unless your harem girls.

Suck on a tired Monty Python reference, Corgan!

Fear the power of elemental weapon modifiers.

So now the Westcastle manor is now mine, because that isn't an illegal thing to do. No, sir, nothing wrong here.

Actually, because the Middle Kingdom society is so ultracaptialist, crimes aren't investigated unless you hire an adventurer or pay off a magistrate, which is why the Hero gets away with so much. But I've explained that like five times so far so I'm not going into it here.

Time to get me some yandere love. She is based on Renfield from the original Dracula novel, which I've explained elsewhere as well, I think.

It also amuses me that the Hero is “New Master”. Damn I have a huge ego.

I'll say it again- using celebrity names makes this game weird.

Is that text box even safe for Wikia? Who knows! Have fun DK2!

Anyway, that's it for today! Thanks for following along!

Day 14

Hey ladies, glad I have an audience for this....

Enjoy watching my gravity-defying crazy monkey sex with the genie! But' that's how it goes in the world of Let's Play Harem Collector!

One of the little jokes built into Gargan's transformation is him getting used to the physiological differences between a man's body and a woman's- and not just suddenly having boobs.

Being unconscious for days probably didn't help Gargan much either.

I'd love to have Kyrie in my harem, but I just don't have the time today to get involved in a big long quest like Research Materials. Instead, we're going to do a miniquest roundup!

I'm not sure why this guy is peddling out of an alley... I guess he's evading his taxes? Drugs aren't a thing that's illegal in the MK, I think. Might make a fun miniquest to help him set up a legit dispensary.

Such loyal guards around here... no wonder the Kellos army thinks they can invade.

I'm a little harsh on furries in this quest. I don't have a huge problem with furries irl, used to play D&D and vampire larp with a couple in fact, but they don't have the greatest public reputation.

Oh, except for otherkin and other such nutjobs. I'm fine with weird, but I have no tolerance for crazy.

I'm always surprised at home much ink gets spilled over this quest. I'm not cruel enough to force these kids to suffer, though.

I know a lot of people want to give away their money to these kids... maybe I should implement it? But I don't want to do any work? IDK

And uh... I guess that's it. I already did Every Day I'm Smugglin' and Scholastic Excellence. The only things I have have left (other than love quests) are Bewitchy Women and Research Materials.

So, yeah, see you all tomorrow for Research Materials!

Note from NoMoshing

Hey all, considering that I have less than a month till next release, I'm shelving my LP for now.

In the meantime, enjoy Seil and Conash's LPs!